Sewing Therapy

I think I have had some post-partum depression/ hormone crazy/ whatever you want to call it since having Mara, and I recently re-discovered my passion for sewing. I'm not sure what jump started it, but I'll attribute it to my friend Kerry who made Mara some skirts, bibs, and bows for her baby shower. And maybe this is all part of the post-partum craze, but at least I'm having fun! I actually talked with a therapist at my 6 week post partum checkup which wasn't super helpful. She talked a lot about herself, told me how to do deep breathing, told me to take more time for myself, and then gave me some coloring pages.  hmm. I did actually try taking time to color with Dean. It was lame. I also started escaping on wednesday nights to attend Institute. A woman in our ward studying at the UChicago Divinity school (Liz Brocious) is the teacher and she was teaching from the gospel topics essays. I love her more "liberal" and scholarly approach to mormonism, and it is refreshing to be able to look at the church and the church's history with a more critical lens and compare it to Christianity in general. But maybe that is a post for another time.

ANyways, at some point, I think I decided to try making a baby gift for Norah's baby Isla (simple bibs, hair bows, etc), which turned into lots of baby dresses and tops, plastic snaps on everything, way too much fabric bought from Joanns, crib sheets in every material for every size crib, pacifier clips, and even skirts for me. Dean started getting really jealous seeing me make all these adorable dresses for Mara and then taking a bazillion pictures of her so then it turned into sewing for the boy: pajama pants, wallets, stroller buddies, shorts, t-shirts, etc. I have so many patterns I want to try. It's this whole new huge world of hobby fun for me. After spending so much time and so much of myself taking care of kids, literally 24/7, it is so nice to focus my brain on something else (even if it is for them) and do something creative. And there is this whole world of online creatives who inspire each other and collaborate and have some really fun tutorials, patterns and ideas. And I'm proud to say that I had no idea what instagram was until this year. Also foundation makeup. no idea. Welcome to 30.

When I was about 14 (the end of middle school) my parents said I would get a big reward if I got straight A's at the end of the year. Well I got a sewing machine. Joseph got a computer. Go figure. Sexism at its finest. At least I can say that my reward lasted longer, even if Joseph's ended up making him more money. I still have and use the same sewing machine. Sigh... I remember going with my mom to buy it from Joanne's in Antioch. Delores Jepson worked there and said I could have free lessons from her to learn how to use my machine but I never took the lessons. I sewed a lot in high school. It seemed like at least every week I was making something to wear, or a bag, or refashioning old clothing to fit differently. I would go to Walmart and buy skirt or dress patterns and look through all their discount fabric while my mom was shopping. I specifically remember making pajama pants from a cotton or flannel? rubber ducky and bubble print fabric, and I still have in my closet a dress I made, spaghetti strap cream colored with dark blue flowers going up from the bottom. I also made Norah presents back in the day, like a fleece tied blanket, and when we were really little there was a time where Norah and I hand-sewed felt clothes for my trolls. I think I still have those somewhere too. Talk about an heirloom piece.

I have had a nice camera for awhile, and I just upgraded to a nice new macbook pro, so now I have more convenient means to document some of the things I have been making. Part of me wants to just try new patterns to prove that I can do it and to have a cute item to show for it, but another part of me wants to actually become a really good seamstress, or whatever you call it. The first bib I made may have been the first thing like that I've sewed in years, and my lines were all over the place. I didn't know how to turn smoothly while sewing and everything was just a bit clunky. But in the last month I've learned a ton of professional and proper techniques from the internet that I never would have learned back in the day.  Kerry went to a fashion school and actually learned how to sew professionally. The one class I always wish I had taken at BYU was a pattern making class, as well as some of the other sewing classes. Well Kerry was very supportive and told me to just practice and that you'll learn a ton that way and she is right! I am sad because Kerry and her daughter Nora (Dean's age - a week apart) just moved back to Boston, but it is so nice knowing I have a sewing friend. And I am finding more and more sewing friends here in Hyde Park the more I look for them. I'm just glad my hormones are stabilizing more here at 6 months pp and now I have more hobbies and friends to connect with. Maybe my hair will stop falling out sometime soon too.

I started with some easy bibs and hot glued some bows together as a gift for Norah's baby Isla. 

I made these strap things because I bought this stroller used and it didn't have any, and the excess strap was hanging down all over the place. p.s. I love phil and teds. 

This is the snappy toddler top from prettyprudent. 

It was a 3-6 month, but it was a little big. The neck needed to be drawn narrower I think to fit the neck better. Oh well. To Norah's house it went. haha. 

After we got some pictures of Mara in it, of course. 

My first geranium dress. madebyrae. I think this was the free 0-3 month pattern. I bought the pattern in larger sizes with the expansion pack just because I loved it so much. It is so satisfying to see it come together. 

Like i said, snaps on everything. They are so fun to put on. You poke a hole in the fabric, line up 2 snap pieces with the fabric between, and then use a tool to squeeze them together. So satisfying. I told spencer he might come home to find snaps on all his underwear. 

little geranium in 3-6 month with sleeves and collar. Fabric is just quilting cotton from Joanns. 

Different colored snaps. so cute. 

My model. Gotta add a matching bow. pardon the crazy hair. 

Well after about 15 more pictures of Mara, Dean got jealous and pulled her pillow away. 

Time to sew for Dean.

right after i get one more picture of Mara...

Made this crib sheet and ended up giving it to baby cousin Aiden with some bibs and a pacifier clip and a Richard Scarry book.

Mara's crib sheet. 

Dino flannel pj pants for Dean. pattern from danamadeit.com

oh to be 2 again...

Shark shorts! and skinned knees. "racer shorts" pattern from danamadeit.com. Kerry turned me onto her. Dana's great. and mormon, what do you know. 

my first tshirt for Dean, made from an old men's tshirt. I found a local thrift store that has .25 cent wednesdays and I loaded up on plain large men's tshirts last time we went. pattern from, you guessed it, danamadeit.

Later I tried freezer paper stenciling on said shirt, also from Dana. We love Mr. Rogers right now. Print your image onto freezer paper, cut it out with an exacto knife, iron the freezer paper to your fabric and then paint over it. I used a paint medium with regular acrylic paint, but it faded after i washed it, so maybe i didn't heat set it well enough.  

another tshirt

This one I added a label. It says "love mom" awwwww. I also want to get/make some size labels. This shirt is a free 4t pattern. 

Mara's blessing dress + a sun bonnet. Dress is geranium dress from madebyrae, bonnet is from purlsoho. both size 6-12 months. 

It's hard to see, and for some reason its rotated sideways, but I embroidered little bunnies and leaves on the collar.  I will get better pictures soon. 

I also tried making a Cleo skirt from madebyrae, but i wasn't super impressed. There was a deal where if you sign up for creativebug you get Rae's Cleo pattern free. Kerry tipped me off to it, so we both signed up, got the free pattern, and then cancelled our subsciption. haha. It is a gathered skirt and for my size waist has sooo much fabric it is so unflattering. The perks of having 2 children an abdominal surgery 6 months ago. I even tried sizing down 3 sizes, but it still is too much fabric, so i'll try an A-line skirt next in similar style for a hopefully more flattering fit.

Anyways, the madness never stops. Next on my to-sew list: raglan shirt for Dean (arms cutout different, like a baseball shirt), henley collared shirt for Dean, pj pants for me and/or spencer (maybe matching???   ..no), Sullivan dress for Mara (it has a scalloped waist hem!), and knit summer shorts for dean and mara. I have amassed quite the collection of used tshirts and clothing to use as fabric, so let the sewing begin!

Blackstone

I have been thinking lately that I need to document our lives right now here in Chicago. I LOVE living in this apartment, quirks and all. I love that we don't run into our neighbors often and we have complete freedom to live how we want here. This apartment is funky, it doesn't have real doors on the "bedrooms" and feels more like a studio at times, but its a space that matures and changes with us. Our family is an organic single entity. Living like this makes us all one. (or maybe just having small children makes us function as one.) When one person wakes up, everyone wakes up. When the kids go to sleep, it's lights out for the whole house. I am followed from room to room by Dean all day long (including the bathroom) and Mara squaks and screams if we leave the room without her. She would follow too if she could. There are so many little things that I take for granted and whenever I go back and look at pictures of our living situations in the past it brings back all the little details. There are some things I probably don't want to remember, like the smell of mold in the kitchen and along the wall that is shared with the abandoned church to the north, or the smell of 3 floors worth of our upstairs neighbors' kitchen sewage seeping into our apartment for 2 years through a cracked foundation under our floor. And shoot, sometimes I wish I had my own room, with real doors. and maybe a lock. I guess that day will come, but until then we can continue our Tabernacle "holy of holies" curtain-wall vibe and enjoy each others company before some of us turn into angsty-emo teenagers.

I will add pictures of our house on here later.


Here are some pictures of late:

Mara's first time eating solids @ 6 months. and yes, spencer is balding. what a stud. 

Her hair always sticks up like this. Not unlike the rest of us...

How have we managed with out a dishwasher for 3 years? 

The mold culprit. I cleaned it and let it dry completely and then added a layer of polyurethane to help seal the wood better. It still molds. 

my kitchen helper. she likes to suck on carrots and cucumbers right now. 

kitchen helper #2

i love gas stoves. 

Mara in her crib. She doesn't actually sleep here, but much rather prefers being plastered to my side with her head in my armpit all night. 

but she's cute, so i let her. 

Dean painting his birdhouse. 

We hung it on a bush in the backyard. 

Everyone's favorite game: I get on Mara and then Dean climbs on my back and plays peek-a-boo with her over my shoulder. 

Fullbright

Spencer received the Fullbright award today to do research in China 2018-2019, which means we will probably be going to China in the fall for a year!! You can decide for yourself if those are good or bad exclamation marks. I knew this day would come, but I was kind of hoping it would come later than sooner because now we'll need to move to China for a year. It will all work out, but we'll have to either move and store our stuff (and car) somewhere, or sublet our apartment for the year until we come back. It will be a huge hassle. We'll live out of 3 or 4 suitcases for a year, traveling to roughly 4-8 cities with a three year old and a one year old. And because the stipend is intended for one person, money will be tight and we'll probably need to side hustle to live comfortably. When we went to China last summer we tried to do it on a small budget. Small budget = take a bus/subway. Medium budget = take a taxi. Large budget = take a private car. Small budget = studio with squatty potty. medium budget = 1 bedroom high rise. Large bedroom = 2+ bedroom gated community with central AC. Small budget = gutter oil diarrhea food. Medium budget = Fancy mall food. Large budget = foreign import grocery stores. By the end of our trip we were eating Subway sandwiches with 3 American-style cookies for every meal.

We've had fun imagining the life of a Fullbright-Hays recipient at roughly double the stipend amount, with additional dependent allowances and healthcare coverage. "Man, we could take private cars everywhere and buy $5 Kraft mac n cheese boxes for every meal!" Maybe we'll get another supplemental grant that Spencer applied for to set us apart from the masses once we are in China. I'm not really sure how everything will work out, but at least all Spencer's hard work has paid off and he is a Fullbright recipient!

2017 happenings

A lot has happened and we're not really sure where 2017 went, but all in all it was a great and eventful year.

-found out I was pregnant in February

-spring Spencer received Luce pre-dissertation research grant

-may- family reunion in Utah

China deserves its own post, or several, but for now I'll just say that we spent 3 summer months in China travelling to 8 different cities for Spencer to do pre-dissertaion research. Here are the places we travelled to:
-June: left for China
-Shanghai
-Nanjing
-Shanghai
-Chengdu
-chongqing
-guiyang
-kunming
-suzhou
-spencer in Jinan

-We flew back to Chicago on September 11th (gotta love those cheap flights) and immediately following went to Costco and bought cereal, milk, and fresh strawberries.

-October 24th Mara born

-December 14th gallbladder incident - more on this later

-Christmas (awesome gifts, fun day, white christmas)

As you can see, having 2 kids doesn't leave a lot of time to fill in details.

February 2017

The past two months have been good. I swear Dean is growing right now- he is eating like a tank and snacking all day long! He also seems to be hitting more milestones, like starting to say words and express himself more. For awhile, the only thing he ever said was "dada", and maybe something that sounded like "water." But after I took him to his 18 month doctors appointment in January and the doctor said he should be saying at least 20 words by now, we started pushing him to talk more and I think he is finally progressing. Spencer especially has started sitting with him and trying to get him to mimic the sounds of letters. A couple weeks ago spencer taught him to say "mama" and it was just about the cutest thing I had ever heard. It just melts your heart to hear your kid say mama and dada for the first time. Now he says it all day long. His most frequently used words right now are: mama, dada, "Eee Eee" (for train), no (usually he says "no no no," like that), he nods "mm" for yes, "mo" for more, "mo" for "moe", the Lego guy he named Moe, "mmmMmm" for when something sounds good to him, like waffles or any other food he wants, hi, bye, sounds that sound like "one, two three... Go!" And then he races off, and then he is really into the alphabet letters right now and loves to watch the alphabet train YouTube video and can mimic some sounds/consonants and say "E", "A", "three", etc, but his strongest letter is definitely "E" for some reason. He is getting loud and talks to himself and plays all day long. He has started roll playing guys in books, giving them low funny voices

He does funny things every day. For instance, today he found a pack of cheese-whiz and crackers thing and I opened it for him and sat him down on the floor to eat it and then I zoned out scrolling the Internet and Facebook and stuff, and when I looked up 5 minutes later he had the empty plastic packaging smashed to his face and was trying to lick the cheese whiz out of the little square cup part. He was covered in cheese whiz- his hands, face, and pants for some reason. He loved it so much. And then he just took an early bath. 

We splurged this past weekend and bought a bob jogging stroller. It has been amazing! We walk a lot and it is so nice having big tires that can handle any bump or sidewalk crack in our old city streets. It was a little expensive (it was 10% off at buy buy baby and then I talked an employee into giving me a 20% off coupon on top of that for a grand total of $150 off, and we bought it for $350), okay, probably our most expensive baby purchase ever, but we rationalized it with the child care stipend that we have been getting for the past year and a half and never used. Plus, we bought or first stroller for 30 bucks off craigslist, so I guess it evens out. I have no regrets. I'm sure bob will make a better stroller one day, but we got the newest 2016 model with the seat that sits up straight (the old ones reclined awkwardly and Dean hated it), and the flex handle bar, and it's a cool black color, unlike our old nasty brown and polka dot stroller. I love that old stroller though, and we fully intend on still using it, especially for traveling or for keeping in the car. It can handle over a hundred pounds of weight, in either human form or Costco/Aldi/Walmart groceries or luggage, we never had to worry about it being stollen, and it had a huge basket and parent tray, collapsed easily, and only weighed 17 pounds. This new bob weighs 28 pounds I think!

Spencer is chugging away at his seminar paper and research and stuff. I still can't believe it's permanent, but inherited a really nice iPhone from my dad, because my dad got a free work iPhone. He is enjoying it and although he is still too cheap to say he would ever buy one himself, he says he doesn't know how he lived without it. We have started working out at the uchicago gym lately. I did a free trial membership last week and it was really great. Basically I have no idea what I am doing or how the machines work, but I can run a mile and ride a stationary bike for a little bit. The gym is a mile walk from our house so you get a nice warm up on the way there. I want to try to go 2-3 times a week in the morning, and spencer wants to try 2-3 times a week in the afternoon before dinner. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday they have family swim time from 6-8 or so, and I would love to take Dean. He is really scared of deep water usually. It would be good to let him get use to swimming. Now that I have discovered the vitamin c crystals trick, I'm not as scared to go swimming in chlorine. It's amazing. 

I cleaned the car yesterday. You wouldn't think it's a big deal, but the only quarter vacuumes I see are in sketchier parts of town, and I feel like a hill billy running extension chords out our garden apartment windows (in the dead of winter) to our car parked out front (if we are lucky and get a good spot), so that the last time our car was vacuumed and cleaned was last Easter when we went to visit Angie and Nate's family and borrowed their vacuum and did it in the garage. It's the small things. 

We are TAing Devin Pope's negotiating class though the booth school and it has been a lot of fun. Spencer picks up the assignments on Thursday or Friday and we grade them and report the grades online by Saturday night. We are Gods. It is funny because there are a few guys in our ward taking the class, and we love getting their papers and assignments to critique. The nature of the class, being a negotiating class, is really fun too. We don't know what we are doing, but I try negotiating with spencer sometimes and wait to see how long it takes before he either gives in or realizes I'm negotiating with him. It's great. There is a set pay for the quarter, but I'm not kidding, for some of the assignments, if you calculate the hourly pay, we made over $1000 an hour. It's ridiculous. The booth school has way more funding than the history department! Haha. And we are so grateful that Devin Pope chose us to TA for him. I'm about to start marketing myself to all these booth school teachers from now on though, geez. I could TA and make 4 times our current stipend. Haha. And only work 5-10 hours a week. We are in a place where we are doing really well financially, saving a ton for the first time in our marriage, and it is nice to be able to afford the nicer things we want, like Spencer's new computer, our warm winter coats, and this great stroller. We look back to when we lived in Columbus and can't believe how we survived on less than 15,000 a year after taxes and school fees. Spencer is really good at securing funding through stipends and scholarships and grants, but it is so nice knowing that if he doesn't get funding for China or whatever, we will have savings to cover everything. I am still working with Mancl, I went out in December, and basically she pays for my travel and accommodations and all my gear and I work for free, so now I own thousands of dollars worth of great film equipment to use at my leisure. I'm still not sure what I want to do with this "business," if you can call it that, but I am set up with the gear and at least some experience. It's hard to want to take on much more work when I have Dean to take care of full time and a fort to hold down. I don't really like working, but it's nice to have something every once in a while. 

End of the year post

I don't blog because I don't like people to see my blog. I guess I need to figure out how to make it private. But I feel like I should at least write something, seeing as it is the end of the year and all.

We just got back from our christmas trip to Utah to visit our families. It was surprisingly a pretty fun trip. We didn't do a ton, but spent a lot of time with family. We went to the bean museum and the moa at byu with my family, began to hike the y and made it to the first switch back, ate chinese food, hot pot, and Indian food, and then with Spencer's family we mainly stayed home and played with Leah and Kyle and Sachi. We went to Star Wars rogue one on Tuesday while grandma and grandpa watched dean and Leah. Wednesday night susan and becca and her boyfriend came over for dinner so we chatted and spent time with them. Thursday ? we went over to say hi to grandma Stewart at night. Friday I think we just hung out all day, and we bought a small sled and took dean sledding at the park. Dean didn't love it. We had fresh snow that week so we could make a snowman too. Friday we went to grandma Stewart's for her christmas party. It was really fun and there was minimal drama this year. Dean got a big woody toy story doll from grandma, and she bought spencer and I a little people nativity set that I was so excited to get! (It had been on my secret wish list on amazon) As always, we won way too much stuff at her merry christmas bingo game. We celebrated christmas morning saturday morning at the stewarts. we opened presents, dean got a lego train set, leah got a little people doll house. (Among other things.) Sachi and I got new boots and spencer and Kyle got "eat sleep ping pong" shirts. We gave mom and dad stewart a family video of our "2016 year in review". They also distributed our family reunion video to everyone. We gave kyle and sachi pass of all passes to the water park and other fun places. We probably should have given better gifts, but hopefully they enjoyed at least 5 seconds of the 30 minute video. :/ 

Saturday was the shand party, and mike & Jen & Ben & Allison came, and Ann Marie and her whole family came. Ann Marie gave a special gift to Leah of a little doll blanket and pillow with pillow case that (Naima Gwen Shand) (mom)'s mother made Ann Marie when she was a child. She said it was one of the only things in her life anyone ever made her, and she kept it all these years and her children played with it and now they wanted to pass it to Leah to remind her of her heritage. It was sweet. 

Sunday we had grandiose plans to go to church with grandma stewart, but we awoke to almost 8 inches of snow and more falling so we spent the whole morning shoveling snow and getting ready to go so that by the time we were ready we missed church. So we just went over to visit grandma Stewart and spencer shoveled her whole drive way for her. We ate lunch with her and stayed until Spencer's parents caught up with us and we visited for a bit and then left to drive to my parents house. 

I guess everyone at my parents house waited for us to open gifts, so at around 5pm we all got there and opened stockings and exchanged gifts. Dean was spoiled rotten with all sorts of gifts. again. Get ready for a consumeristic christmas!: A curious George monkey doll, a car, Legos, lots of clothes, a train puzzle, and all sorts of other little things. I was also spoiled rotten. My dad gave me $300 for a new camera lens, and on top of that they got me all sorts of photo/video gear, like a collapsible bounce, a camera lens filter, and a sd card case. Also a new iPad case because my old one was falling apart. They spent too much on me for sure. Spencer got a roku stick and a new laptop case. I bought him a new timbuk2 backpack/side bag. And he let me buy myself a new coat for christmas, I guess. :) we got dean a Thomas the train life the flap book and a mr potato head. We got Leah the mrs potato head. I got my mom a speedo kickboard for swimming, and I got my dad/mom a waterproof iPod thing to listen to music with in the water. I don't know if they'll use it at all and I kindof felt stupid buying it if they didn't even want it, but whatever. It's the thought that counts, right? I asked my dad to return the lens and sd card case because they weren't the ones I wanted, and I figured they had already spent enough on us, but then spencer got a transfer to our bank account for the money for the lens filter and case, so I'm going to have to talk to him about that. We got Sam a shirt that says, "not an uncle, I'm a funcle" with thumbs pointing up, and a new pair of goggles for swimming. Sam loved playing with dean, and dean really liked Sam! They played together for a long time! Now I know who I need to be my babysitter if he's ever around. I think he's earned funcle status. When we skyped that afternoon with Joseph and Karen they shared the exciting news that they just found out Karen is pregnant! Everyone is really excited for them. Little Josephina. im guessing it'll be a girl. i guess they wanted to wait six months to start trying because they went to Guatemala on their honeymoon and were worried about Zika virus. Grandma Joanne was also there and played the accordion for us. She is making us a wool braided rug as her christmas present to us this year. She is still working on it. We had sirloin stake for christmas dinner. A pleasant break from ham. 

Monday and Tuesday we were all pretty tired and stayed home most of the time. Tuesday spencer drove up to sandy to say goodbye again and also to meet up with old friends like trace, Parker, and joe. We stayed home and played and watched movies all day. I guess it was my parents anniversary so they went out to dinner alone. My grandma Allred kept asking where they were, and at one point something must have really clicked in her brain and she said she wanted to surprise them when they got home, so she jumped up and went to wait for them by the door to jump out and surprise them. It was funny. I have it on camera. She was in and out mentally the whole time we were there, but at least she seemed to remember me, and I could brainwash her into thinking I am her favorite grandchild. :) my family treats her alright, even if she is a pain in the butt sometimes. 

We flew home Wednesday and were lucky to make great time with our airplane and train and bus to get back home. Today we have just been relaxing and decompressing. It has been a fun break, albeit a little busy. School starts for spencer next week on Tuesday. Back to the grind. I've heard some people say as they travel closer to hyde park their anxiety levels soar and peak because of their associations at the university, but so far at least I can say that as I near hyde park after a long trip my happiness levels soar and peak. I love chicago and hyde park. We have a great apartment and location and everyone talks to me wherever I go. I feel like I fit in here. There is room for me here. We have good friends and neighbors and great opportunities for childrearing and personal/career growth. I love our parks and beaches and city resources. We will be TAing for devin pope in our ward this next quarter. I have had steadyish jobs with mancl for the past couple years. I'm in a position to start moving forward and having more business as my schedule desires. Spencer is acing his classes and doing marvelously. Bravo! We are all healthy physically and happy mentally. We pay our tithing and serve as we can in our callings. We have fun. 

3rd Anniversary

Today was out third anniversary. I woke up with dean at 7, and miraculously spencer woke up too and told me to go back to sleep and he took dean. OK! No problem. I went back to sleep until 8 when spencer came home with a bag of dat donuts! People. The Big Dat. Best donut in Chicago. Cottage grove and 83rd(?), all you have to do is brave the south side, order your donuts through bullet proof glass, and pay and get your donuts through a small revolving bullet-proof-glass turntable door. These donuts are bready and doughy and made fresh all day. Oh and they are open 24/7. (But don't go at night.)

Later we went to Costco to browse their laptop and monitor collections and possibly get spencer a new laptop. We didn't end up getting anything, but we almost bought dean this giant teddy bear. He LOVED it. We may end up getting it for him in the future. :/ Stay strong, future self. 

After afternoon naps and cleaning up Spencer's office, we had dinner (salmon, summer squash, and salad), and then headed down to the lake to swim. The waves were huge today and spencer spent the majority of the time jumping and diving through them. He said it was like the wave pool at a water park.  Dean got too cold when we took him in the water, so I wrapped him up in the towel until spencer was done and then we rode our bikes home. The weather is changing ever so slowly and we are taking advantage of every warm day we can get this year.